Post by astro on Nov 21, 2007 14:33:56 GMT 8
ERECTERIUS TROUSERIUS:
The trouser snake is the world's
most dangerous snake. Color
varies from pink to black. It is
fangless. Its highly venomous
spit can cause prolonged swelling
lasting 9 months. AVerage length
is 3-9 inches depending on sub-
species. Usually appears in bed-
rooms but found in unusual
places at times. Attacks women
in lower part of the abdominal
area. It has also been known to
attack men from behind. BEWARE!
-----0-----
WORDS AFTER SEX:
Kung asawa mo - "I loveyou"
Pag kabit mo - "Ang galing mo"
Pag syota mo - "Wow, sarap. Isa pa.
Pag kapit bahay mo - "Bilisan mo loko.
Mahuli tayo"
-----0-----
A CONDOM'S POEM:
Kissing is a habit,
f**king is a game.
Guys get the pleasure
Girls get the pain.
The guy says, 'I love you"
You believe naman its true.
But when your tummy starts to swell
He says 'the hell with you'.
Ten minutes of pleasure,
Nine minutes of pain,
Three days in the hospital.
A baby without a name.
The baby is a b@stard,
The mother is a wh0re.
This would'nt happen
If the condom, we put on.
Play safe...spread the word,
Not the virus.
-----0-----
THE CHICK AND THE HEN:
The difference?
Ang dalaga ay chicks because
ma 'tsikip' pa.
Ang mrs. kaya hen ang tawag,
kasi, na 'hendot' na.
-----0-----
A SEXUAL ADVICE:
Bata: Dok, ako po ay nag aalala
kasi nagsasalsal po ako araw araw.
Psychiatrist: How old ka na ba iho?
Bata: l9 na po.
Psychiatrist; Susmaryhosep! Sa edad
mo dapat, chinuchupa ka na.
----0-----
SOME MODERN QUOTES:
Natuto kang lumandi,
magtiis ka sa hapdi.
Nasa kama ang sarap,
nasa hospital ang hirap.
Kapag libog ang pinairal,
sira ang pagaaral.
Walang pangit sa titing galit.
Pangit man daw at maliit sa paningin,
nakakabuntis pa rin.
Mahapdi man sa unang tikim,
luluwang at luluwang din.
-----0-----
TAXES OF SEX:
VAT (girl thingyl access tax) - upon penetration.
BT (burial tax) - ten minutes inside.
ET (exit tax) - upon withdrawal.
IAT (Idol asset tax) - don't have sex life.
WT (withholding tax) - practicing withdrawal
method of birth control.
RUT (road users tax) - sex other than wife.
BUHAY NA BUHAY ANG GOBIERNO
basta masingil itong taxes.
-----0-----
IHING IHING NA:
Lalake umihi sa puno
Dwarf: Psst! Gusto mong yumaman?
Lalake: Siempre!
Dwarf: One condition.
Lalake: Kahit ano.
Dwarf: Palit tayo titi.
-----0-----
A DYING STATEMENT:
Dona Maria: Celebrating her 102 yrs.
Joseph, anak, hindi mo natapos
ang pagaaral mo, pati pagka
Presidente mo, hindi mo natapos.
Ngayon, pati jail term mo hindi
na rin natapos. mamamatay na
ako, wala ka man lang natapos.
PUNYETA!
The trouser snake is the world's
most dangerous snake. Color
varies from pink to black. It is
fangless. Its highly venomous
spit can cause prolonged swelling
lasting 9 months. AVerage length
is 3-9 inches depending on sub-
species. Usually appears in bed-
rooms but found in unusual
places at times. Attacks women
in lower part of the abdominal
area. It has also been known to
attack men from behind. BEWARE!
-----0-----
WORDS AFTER SEX:
Kung asawa mo - "I loveyou"
Pag kabit mo - "Ang galing mo"
Pag syota mo - "Wow, sarap. Isa pa.
Pag kapit bahay mo - "Bilisan mo loko.
Mahuli tayo"
-----0-----
A CONDOM'S POEM:
Kissing is a habit,
f**king is a game.
Guys get the pleasure
Girls get the pain.
The guy says, 'I love you"
You believe naman its true.
But when your tummy starts to swell
He says 'the hell with you'.
Ten minutes of pleasure,
Nine minutes of pain,
Three days in the hospital.
A baby without a name.
The baby is a b@stard,
The mother is a wh0re.
This would'nt happen
If the condom, we put on.
Play safe...spread the word,
Not the virus.
-----0-----
THE CHICK AND THE HEN:
The difference?
Ang dalaga ay chicks because
ma 'tsikip' pa.
Ang mrs. kaya hen ang tawag,
kasi, na 'hendot' na.
-----0-----
A SEXUAL ADVICE:
Bata: Dok, ako po ay nag aalala
kasi nagsasalsal po ako araw araw.
Psychiatrist: How old ka na ba iho?
Bata: l9 na po.
Psychiatrist; Susmaryhosep! Sa edad
mo dapat, chinuchupa ka na.
----0-----
SOME MODERN QUOTES:
Natuto kang lumandi,
magtiis ka sa hapdi.
Nasa kama ang sarap,
nasa hospital ang hirap.
Kapag libog ang pinairal,
sira ang pagaaral.
Walang pangit sa titing galit.
Pangit man daw at maliit sa paningin,
nakakabuntis pa rin.
Mahapdi man sa unang tikim,
luluwang at luluwang din.
-----0-----
TAXES OF SEX:
VAT (girl thingyl access tax) - upon penetration.
BT (burial tax) - ten minutes inside.
ET (exit tax) - upon withdrawal.
IAT (Idol asset tax) - don't have sex life.
WT (withholding tax) - practicing withdrawal
method of birth control.
RUT (road users tax) - sex other than wife.
BUHAY NA BUHAY ANG GOBIERNO
basta masingil itong taxes.
-----0-----
IHING IHING NA:
Lalake umihi sa puno
Dwarf: Psst! Gusto mong yumaman?
Lalake: Siempre!
Dwarf: One condition.
Lalake: Kahit ano.
Dwarf: Palit tayo titi.
-----0-----
A DYING STATEMENT:
Dona Maria: Celebrating her 102 yrs.
Joseph, anak, hindi mo natapos
ang pagaaral mo, pati pagka
Presidente mo, hindi mo natapos.
Ngayon, pati jail term mo hindi
na rin natapos. mamamatay na
ako, wala ka man lang natapos.
PUNYETA!
